There has been a lot that has happened in the last few days. My friend of forever came for Valentines weekend. It was hard. I cried for a little bit, but soon the tears were turned into joy thankfully. I trust God even more now with my love life, school, and future. Do I want to be in a relationship? Of course. Do I wish I knew how this whole school stuff will turn out? Of course. Do I also wish I knew what my future holds, OF COURSE. Learning to trust the Lord is never easy. I have so much happening all at once that I could easily feel sorry for myself, but I choose not to. I have learned that each thing happens in our life for a reason, and in the end there will be blessings to come from it.
I have learned in the last month how completely odd of a girl I am. I guess that is one reason its been easy to believe the lies of Satan that I will be alone forever. I love comic books, I love watching sports, and even watch ESPN till I fall asleep. I rather go to sports outings on dates, and I much rather wear t shirts on any given day than anything else. I sometimes wonder why I turned out so odd, but I am learning to accept, and love the weird parts of me. They honestly make me who I am. I have been reading a book called," I kissed Dating Goodbye." It has opened my eyes to how great waiting for the right person is and to not sit on your butt while you are single. That when the time is right the Lord will bring that person along. Why should we force the right person to be with us at the wrong time, and hurt what could possibly be amazing. "The right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person." You could force the timing to escalate the relationship and legit make that great person for you the wrong one. How crazy is that? I have gotten to the point I rather way 50 years for the right person the rush it with the wrong. It is so selfish of me to want to speed things up so I can feel "better" about myself cause I have someone by my side. The selfless thing is waiting on the Lord, not deciding you know whats best.
Another thing that has come to me is starting to write a book. I have this weird theory I came up with that on average people generally have three "loves" in their life. They have their first love, their great love, and their true love. Their first love is the first person they ever truly felt something for. Their great love is someone they love more than their first, but they learn something from the relationship. They usually take something from the relationship that opens their eyes. Then their true love is the one they end up marrying, the one they grow continually with, and things just work. Sometimes your great love, and true love can be the same person. Sometimes people marry their great love because they are so wrapped up in emotions and don't allow themselves to grow individually so they don't marry their true love. Anyways, this is not always the case. Its just something I have come up myself. Not everyone's walk of life is the same, but that doesn't mean it cant be similar. Anyways, I decided to write a book about the "loves" of my life. I feel two people in my life have truly made me who I am today. That no matter what because of them I got to a certain point, and even if I made so many mistakes with them they have indirectly been a source of joy. They both allowed me to grow, experience things, and I will forever feel blessed to have known them regardless. I only hope someday they can feel that. If they never do, then that's OK. Regardless, I have no idea how I would start this book, but I think I am going to sit down and throw some ideas around and write away.
Lastly, I have an interview for a mission trip to East Asia tomorrow and I really want to go. With being sick, and everything I hope I am able to think straight for everything to go smoothly. I am just praying for more trust in all this, and praying the Lord guides me where I need to go. I am in awe of what God must be doing through all this, and know this will all be turned into good. Thank God for his perfect LOVE. I would be nothing without it.
Be blessed,
AnnaCaroline
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow
Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.- Jesus Paid it All
No comments:
Post a Comment