I am weary, O God, and worn out." Proverbs 30:1
Needless to say my life lately has been a whirlwind of struggle. I am honestly just ready for things to start going right. On my way to school early this morning I literally prayed to God asking him, "what the heck are you doing?" I seriously do not understand like many of you probably why sometimes we have to experience so much strife. It hurts. I am going through one of those stages of life where you pray for answers but they are slow coming. Although my day turned around when God gave me a huge sign about me going to East Asia for the summer on a mission trip. To be honest I am freaked. I never thought God would put this on my heart. The more I have struggled recently the more I have realized how much I want to love others more. Sounds weird right? That's me :). But SERIOUSLY the more struggles I have gone through the more I have wanted to pour out my love on others. The more authentic I have become in being honest about where I am as well. I always thought shutting off your emotions to people, and lying about how you are was the best idea ever. In relationships I have always tried the, "please don't get to close to me or it'll freak me out approach." Of course that didn't mean physically, but it was emotionally. I hated the idea of getting close to someone, and then watching them walk away. If you have ever trusted someone so much with your heart then watch them hurt you so bad then you know what I am saying. You all may be wondering to yourself about how intense my post are. My intentions to simply write an encouraging blog everyday and how great life can be is not just what I want this to be about. I am here to show you that through the muck of a life God shines brighter. Simply, If I could write a blog about how great my life is going I would completely love that but that's not where I am. God has me on all sorts of twists and turns and it isn't fun. Although, it may not be fun I can still experience the abounding love Christ offers me. Sometimes in life we feel worn out, and we aren't in a great place. I love where God has me. I love that deep down God has all these plans, and he is putting hard stuff in my life because in the end I will know him so much more. In the end everything will make sense, and in the end his plan will be greater than anything I could have imagined. BUT FOR REAL. I encourage each and every one of you to answer this question. What truly is taking up your thoughts, your life, and all of your time? We can be physically depleted from life, and how it keeps throwing things at us. What we don't have to be is spiritually depleted. I am no where near perfect. I am no where near where I could be. But the awesome thing is I am no where what I was two months ago, or especially a year ago. What we lose in life God will give you so much more. All you have to do is trust him. Whether it be a relationship he decided to take away. God can do two things with that. Redeem you both to a relationship better than you could imagine. Another thing God can do is bring you someone else who is so great for you in more ways than you can imagine. Whatever it may be God will restore it all to even greater lengths than you realize. Check out this verse : "Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24! JUST HAVE FAITH THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.
By the way I apologize my paragraphs are so long. I honestly just have so many thoughts pouring out of my cranium sometimes I just cant stop. Anyways, moving on. I would like to touch on how our society these days is all about self reliance, and not depending on anyone. This is probably more focused on women in the society. Men have always in a way were born to be more self reliant. I mean they are the ones who are supposed to bring home the bacon. But either way we live in a culture that's all about living for yourself, and not really giving your trust to anyone. I learned from a young age not to trust people. Sad I know, but true. I was introduced to lots of bad things when I was younger, and was deeply hurt as a child. From those moments of pure hurt, and betrayal I didn't know how to trust anything. Growing up I have never been truly close to my parents. We have never seen eye to eye, and honestly at one point couldn't talk without arguing. It was tough. I never felt I could go to them and feel safe. I never felt safe. Eventually it brought me to building up this high wall. Although if you ever get to know me at all I am actually fragile. That's the way God created women. We are meant to be fragile, and more in tune with our emotions. Although, there is a certain point it isn't OK to be THAT fragile. That is why putting your heart in Christ above all things is so crucial. It saves you from being tempted to put it in someone else that wont fill you up. Which comes to the point I want to make. It is important to walk closely with someone in your life (proverbs 27:17). They will be the ones to pick you up when you don't even know you' re falling. Its so important for guys as well to have another guy to look out for them. Guys can act so tough all they want but in the end you are still human. No person on earth is Super Human. No man will ever give you it all ladies. But he can give you so much more. If he is the right man he can give you a stronger love for Christ, he can provide you with strong arms to hold you, and a mouth that guides you in the right ways. Men you also need women to help you. DO NOT think you need no one but yourself. A woman is meant to be your help meet. Meant to encourage you, serve you, and build you up to be more of a man in Christ. We are all created for a purpose. Marriage is to make you more holy not happy.
I know I must have been all over the place in this blog. I apologize. My brain is functioning that way right now honestly. ITS NUTS. The point I was trying to make in short is to rely on Christ first but also make sure you have someone in your life you can confide in. It is important to tackle life with others. You should never try and be alone. You could be doing life all wrong and not even know it if you do. Men are not supposed to be strong all the time. Women don't need to have it all together, and they for sure don't need to try and control every aspect of their lives. Basically. Stop. Breathe. Listen.Pray. Christ is calling out to each and every one of you. He needs to fill your deepest needs. He knows your deepest needs. Hes just waiting for you to actually speak to him.
Ps: If yall need prayer. LET ME KNOW (:
Be Blessed,
AnnaCaroline
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